Ask Mary: Am I Caring Too Much About What Others Think?

Ask Mary: Am I Caring Too Much About What Others Think?Interesting question, because what defines too much?  To say “do only what you want”, risks sounding arrogant.  But to say that you should “put others needs before your own”, sounds rather spineless.

 We all, to some degree, worry about what others think, because there is always going to be someone whose love and attention we desire. For myself the honest answer is “Yes, I have often cared too much about the opinions of others”.

 However, after my husband’s death I learned that I had to stop being anxious, wasting time and worrying about others. Life is brief, too brief – so take off that “mask” of being okay with what everyone else wants and speak out about your own needs.

 By giving control over to the opinions of others, you rob yourself of an opportunity to truly grow.  Your life has been a creation of good and bad experiences.  The wisdom you’ve gained makes you the person you are today.

 In the end, you matter just as much as anyone else, because you have value too.  Get clear about what you most want to give and if you have doubts, pause and think about it.  If you’re uncertain than it’s a sign that something is off-balance.  To create a new life for yourself, you have to get clear about who you are, what you believe and what you think is important.

 Happiness comes first from recognizing your own worth, and not from what others think of you.  It starts with having the clarity, energy and knowledge to live a life free of the anxiety and emptiness that comes from trying to please everyone but yourself.

 Listen to you inner voice and if you find yourself wondering if you are caring too much, then you probably are. Please email me your questions:  mary@thesisterhoodofwidows.com